A concerned friend came to me the other day and asked, "Hey, Aren't you blogging anymore?!"
I smiled at her and told her firmly, "I don't blog just for the sake of blogging. Each and everything i write has a strong inspiration behind it. Without any inspiration at all, whatever I write will fall flat on its face!!" She seemed visibly satisfied with my answer, but made me uneasy with a comment that initially bewildered me- " What about your rank on that blogger site!? You'd better keep blogging or else it'll affect your rank!"
Well, there you go! I have to thank my enlightened friend! She has inspired me to get back to my keypad with that absurd comment. This obsession with 'RANK" is not just hers alone. Millions of Indians live with this obsession and wallow in it! Its always 'My Rank is better than hers, or Why couldn't i score a better rank than him?' Gosh! I wonder if somewhere down the line, we've compromised our individuality or more importantly, our happiness in the name of 'RANK'.
This confounded word has doggedly chased me throughout my school tenure, and continues to pester me at the age of 20! Its worse for people like me, who don't give a rat's arse as to how much we score, or where we stand in class, because our confidence in ourselves is unshakable. We don't need a RANK to justify our talent.
Yet, it breaks my heart to see young people over concerned about being high rankers. To me, it seems like a colossal waste of time. In the quest to be high rankers, they have forgotten that it is 'knowledge' and ' work experience' that can set you a class apart. You can only gain knowledge, if you allow your mind to be child like- full of adventure and innocent inquisitiveness! And that can only happen, if your mind is not saddled with the baggage of marks, rank, under confidence, or even overconfidence (Too much of anything is detrimental)!
The word 'rank' itself saps your creativity. Its my personal experience that when I complete my assignments diligently without letting the negativity of the entire world to weigh upon my heart, I feel content and self satisfied. After having done my bit of my work, all i want to do is go back to my bed and relax my tired muscles. I don't understand, how a person who is sufficiently busy in life, and has several priorities to attend to, can tax their mind over who's getting ahead in the 'rat race' and who's been left behind!
When i speak heatedly about this with Papa, he explains to me patiently, " There have to be certain parameters to judge a student. So, ranking students fits well into the education system, because you get judged on the basis of your work. It is for your own good. "
I would've believed him, if we had been receiving education from the most professional college of the millennium, where sycophancy and pandering to a teacher's whim, is not what is going to get you a better rank than others. Granted, that all teachers are not biased and have generally the student's best interests at heart, but it is first and foremost important for you to be happy with your work! The marks you get are secondary. If you cringe from your work, and yet rack your head over where you stand in class, you are a nincompoop!
I am certainly blessed with parents, who inquire about my marks only to ascertain whether I have passed. It's not that i have set my standards low or I am undeserving of high marks. I just don't bother about them, and nor do my parents. They used to be elated, when I used to top my exams back in high school, and I'm sure they feel a twinge of disappointment, when they hear of my stagnant progress on the rank scale in college, but they never judge or harass me. My hard work and dedication in everything that i do; from the most exciting project to the most mundane task, does not go unnoticed by them. And their pride and belief in my caliber never ceases to dwindle. When it gets too much I cozy up to mamma and ask her tearfully, "Are you unhappy with me!?" In response, she holds me close to her chest in a tight embrace, and says, "You are my Shona mey (dearest girl)! Don't be hard on yourself." Those words are like an elixir to me- the fact that someone understands you and gives you back your lost confidence, is what you need when you let this horrid word 'rank' affect you.
Contrary to this, I have seen lots of friends, driven crazy by their parents, to be toppers! For what joy, may I ask? Only to prove to your relative, that their daughter or son is less intelligent than yours? Is this what society has come to? Recently, when our mid-term marks were out, once of my classmates, got so affected by her score that she ruined the fabric she was working on. Anxiety was stamped on her face, and her mood for the week, at least, was somber and aloof.
Lets not pretend that every high ranker, achieves paramount success in life. Renowned individuals have been successful around the world for their revolutionary ideas and the drive to create building blocks for the future. So many names have gone down in the record- Rajnikanth, Abdul Kalam, Marc Zucherberg, to name a few. The list is endless. If all they had to do in life, was to frame their grades on a wall, I'm certain they would not have earned the respect and admiration of millions. They dreamed big, and they had the courage to make it happen; they lived their respective journeys beautifully, through the highs and lows of life.
I would hope to see my country, look beyond the rat race, and analyse life for what it really is- A colour palette! Each colour signifies some or the other phase in our life, and indicates that life is multi hued. No single color makes up your personality- all the colors on the palette make you distinctive as an individual, and each color is special; from the brightest to the darkest. Similarly, look at the several aspects of your life, and look back on all your achievements. You would soon realize that the journey to reach your goal, was far more meaningful and inspiring than the rank that was awarded to you. Learn to fall in love with life once again, before it's too late and you lose your spark! Maybe, watching Three Idiots again would help? :)
